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As always, Bcon2012 was more fun than I can recap without forgetting something, someone or some important something.

I learned that Mary Higgins Clark is tiny and adorable. Also, that if you wear too-high heels it’s hard to see her down there and you might nearly kill her in the bathroom. Luckily, I stopped well short of her, so I’m pretty sure she doesn’t have a hit or restraining order out.

I learned that it’s possible to leave the lobby for lunch with 5-6 people and arrive at a restaurant as a party of 13. Yelling “Scottish Hooters” in a crowded square might be partially to blame. Being part of #sabrinasposse is mostly to blame. Related: Giant Ginger Ape is a serial massaging furry freak. Ginger Ape is a drink you can get at Todd Robinson’s bar.

I learned that Josh Stallings is not only a great guy with a big head, but loud enough not to need a microphone.

I learned Dan O’Shea’s jacket precedes him. Becomes him. Takes him on long walks by the beach.

I learned a lot about tattoos from Katrina Niidas Holm. I also learned it’s best not to cross her because she can get across a bar like a flying squirrel.

I learned about editing and beer from Tommy Pluck. I learned about coffee from Kent Gowran. I learned about bras from Christa Faust by way of Sabrina Ogden. I learned that pinstripe tights are a big hit. I also learned you can walk a long way in five-inch heels, but that crime fiction writers and fans go through a lot of ice. (If you walk that far in heels, youl’ll want to ice your old ankle injury,which is when you’ll realize there’s no ice in the hotel.)

I learned that people in Cleveland are much cleaner in their public restrooms than people in Florida — even the people in bowling alley basement bathrooms. Related, I learned that Clevelanders like to keep their bathrooms in basements at the end of dark hallways, which is creepy if you’re from a place without basements or if you work with a lot of sex offenders or if you have a mother obsessed with all the bad that can happen in the world.

I learned Holly West is charming, her husband is equally charming, Erin Mitchell is adorable, Glenn Gray is generous, Johnny Shaw is a big dude — well, #sabrinasposse is made of big dudes, in general, — Joe Myers is not the same as Joe Meyers, but he can play him on TV (not really).

I learned a lot of gossip that I dare not repeat. Mostly about the size of…

I learned Hilary Davidson packs using Harry Potter in a Tardis.

Basically, I met a lot of cool people. I hung out with a lot of cool people. I wore a lot of ridiculous shoes. I drank a lot of beer and coffee. I ate a lot of veggies. (Speaking of, The Flaming Ice Cube was AWESOME and, related, I also learned Joe Myers is Human Google Maps.)

Photos:

Scottish Hooters

#sabrinasposse walking to the Hall of Fame. I don’t know what Tommy or Mick said to Holly West, but she’s clearly amused.

Katrina Niidas Holm moderating. Hilary Davidson, Joy Castro, Robert Olen Butler, Bruce DeSilva, Hannah Denison, and Cathy Wiley round out the panel.

Cleveland

Browns Stadium. A little surprised to see it said that instead of Soda-Beer-Insurance Stadium.

#randomactsofcupcaking with Sabrina Ogden and Erin Mitchell

Dan O’Shea’s jacket reads at Noir @ The Bar.

Josh Stallings proves he’s a badass by reading from his memoir, to be published by Snubnose Press.

In Cleveland’s “warehouse district.”

Peter Farris

Josh Stallings and Sabrina Ogden

Eric Beetner as a wine-swilling giant.

Todd Robinson with a very-amused Hilary and Dan Davidson.

These two (Katrina Niidas Holm and Chris F. Holm) are much more adorable than they appear to be in this photo. Kat is also much more dangerous. Like a baby wolverine, that one.

Colin Campbell pontificating about animal “equipment” while panelists Josh Stallings, Ryan David Jahn, Jonathan Woods, and Bill Loehfelm look on.

The new Shotgun Honey crew, Joe Myers and Jen Conley.

Todd Robinson, Glenn G. Gray, and Joe Myers at breakfast.

Dan O’Shea aiming for Sabrina. Thomas Pluck is not amused.

Getting some perspective on Kent Gowran.

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